Things Successful Bloggers Do

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You may see lots of * (those) today.  I kinda like them.  I just may be using them a lot more.

You may remember a few of my previous posts titled 'Things Successful Bloggers Do That I Do Not Do'.

Lets re-cap.

1. Have a life outside their blog.

2. Don't beat a dead horse.

3. Go to Blogher.

4. Have lots of readers.

5. Seem to have it all.

You ready for number six?

Its a dooise.

Here goes.

Things Successful Bloggers Do That I Do Not Do

#6 Swear.

Really. 

I should start by clarifying what swearing is to me.

Worst offense: Saying 'Oh My God'  (OMG) or taking the Lords name in vein. 

Next worst offense: The rest of them.  Wikipedia says from 1986 to 2006 that mainly the same top ten swear words are used. (they list them if you care to know)

I do not consider crap a swear word. 

Now.  I do not want to call people out (ok, I kinda do, but I wont)... but you know who they are.

Those ubber successful bloggers that maintain a steady flow of profanity in their writing.  The folks that can't seem to discuss their driving or their grocery store excursion or their husband without swearing.

The smart and sassy and popular bloggers that don't mind dropping the f* bomb in casual conversation. 

The witty Stay at Home Moms who let the s* word work as an adjective more often then not.

I am not talking about the blogger who has said one questionable word in the last 372 posts.

Here is where I stand.

I try not to swear.

Not on my blog and not in my everyday life.  And on the rare occasion that I do swear, it is in moments of anger or fear where I am not thinking clearly and I immediately regret letting those words escape from my mouth.

See, I sorta feel like it demeans me.  That when I give in and tell my dear hubby that I am tired of this *stuff*,  from that point on in the conversation we cease to be productive.

Its a fight.  A war of the words.  No longer a discussion that could potentially yield a positive result.

(I am one of those awful people who fight to win (sorry honey!, I'm working on it) so I hate to give up even the most trivial of points)

And to be honest, when I am reading a blog that curses, it is a huge distraction.  I see *that* word or *a* word that is not allowed in any G rated movie and I stumble. 

My eyes go back to it.  I reread it over again trying to understand its context. 

I get frustrated and flustered.  And fidgety. 

Look at me using *f* words.

At the core of the issue... the true reason that I am trying to hard to avoid using swear words in my speech... I find profanity disrespectful.

And I do not want to disrespect you.  I like you. 

The way I talk in my everyday life should be the way I would speak to someone I have great admiration and respect for. 

If I can filter my speech to a pastor or a parent, why would I not allow that same courtesy to my friend or a reader or spouse?  Do they not deserve the same respect?

So here goes.  I know I am the minority here.  What you do think about profanity?

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Comments

[Janis]

I agree with you totally on this.
I don't swear - most of the time. There are times when the "old" me comes back and it slips. I dread the day it ever slips in front of my children so working really hard on not slipping and praying that God gives me wisdom and the control to keep my mouth shut. I have to say it sure is a hard habit to break!!!!

I do not understand the need to use it in regular speech. There are those on Facebook I have deleted because their language is not something I want entering my mind.

Hope you have a fabulous day!!!!
Janis

[Sara]

I am known to use profanity in my everyday (adult) life, but not on my blog. Because some day my kids will read said blog, and I don't want them thinking their Mama is a sailor. :)

[Amanda Rettke]

I have done that too Janis... hidden someone on facebook cause they kept cursing... one relative took a "what swear word best describes you" quiz and then dropped the f bomb.  Nice.

[bp]

Good question.
It really bothers me when I read the Lord's name in vain on FB or on blogs. It seems it's everywhere and I think a lot of people don't even think about it when they type the abbreviation.

[Jessica @ How Sweet It Is]

Ohh geez, now I am nervous that I have offended you! I need to go scan my posts. :(

I have not noticed many bloggers swearing? Maybe I just haven't came upon them yet.

[Bethany]

Interesting post. I seldom swear but.... I wish I had better control over my tongue. :(
I guess I haven't seen that much swearing in blogs, mostly because I stay in the Christian circles. It's kind of funny (in a weird way) to read blogs that have tons of swearing. I really just can't imagine typing all that and knowing it was just out there forever. There's one in particular that I've read a few times like that. Great writer, interesting words.
When is your photography class? I can't wait to see what you learn.

[ElizaBeth]

I just assumed you don't swear. LOL. I really find swearing to be offensive. I WAS the teenager with a potty mouth, but once I got older it quickly changed. I think there are so many better words we can use to express ourselves. Yes, one will slip out out of anger or frustration, but I too regret it instantly. BTW hubby says Christians need thier own set of "swear" words for just such occasions LOL.

[Artie]

I feel the same way you do. For the most part, I am not a cuss-er. Every once in awhile, in a moment of stress (whether pain or anxiety related), I will let something slip, but I do try to avoid it. And, there are those times when no other word will suffice; however, I like to think my vocabulary is extensive enough that I can come up with some sort of non-expletive. I am also *not* an "OMG" person. I always have to clarify it with an OMGoodness.

[Stephanie]

Totally agree with you! Don't think it is necessary at all.

[Michelle]

I love this post. I also try not to swear, and when I do use OMG, I try to always use OMGosh because I also do not want to use the Lord's name in vain.

As for the poll - I can't really say No or that I don't care. Because I do swear, and I care that I swear and that other's swear. It is offensive to me, especially when I hear people do it around my kids or ANY kids. But I also don't want to answer 'Yes' because that makes it sounds like I do swear and I'm ok with it. Swearing is like vomit to me. It's gross when it comes out, I don't like it, but sometimes it just comes out.

[Tami Wesley]

Ok so I took the poll! However that is a loaded question. In regards to my blog I don't think I have ever used a swear word, but in really life yes it does happen. Unfortunatly I think its the nature of my job. It happens more at work than one would like, but at home and out and about it is much more under control.

[CFMama]

I never used to swear but since Nathan was born I am at home all day long learning to be a mom and learning about my son's disease getting frustrated, overwhelmed and having my own emotional outburts... certain words are becoming abundant like "$h!+" and "c*@P" mostly.

I am really trying to change this because I hate the way I sound when I swear.

[Liz]

I'm will you and agree with everything you've said here. I just stop reading those blogs that include swearing every other word or sentence.

[carma]

when I come across a blog post filled with swear words it always seems to me that the blogger is trying too hard to be cool...It can be a turn off.

Of course, I am not above putting in stars and apostrophes on the occasion I use an improper word, such as bada$$ - does that count???

[Tina Fisher]

My bad....I do swear on occasion. I police myself in front of kids....but rarely swear anyway. I don't ever write swear words....I think???? Do I?

But I have...

My bad...

[Jamie @ Six Bricks High]

I'm with you on this topic. I find it disrespectful as well.

[Amanda Jo]

Very VERY well said!!!

I am 100% with you on the cursing thing! I started curing sophomore year of high school because, well, my friends did it. After I graduated from high school I stopped becuase I felt like it was a very immature means of communicating.

I mean, I can't even watch movies that are laden with curse words they bother me so much!

[Liz]

I totally agree! I got into the habit of swearing as a teenager and have been trying to break it ever since, because I do agree it is disrespectful and rude. It is crazy how something in ones speech can become a habit!

[Heidi]

Totally and completely agree with you. I have been turned off from certain popular blogs because I keep thinking... "You had time to think about what you were going to say and that's still what you chose?" It leaves a bad taste in my mouth quite frankly!

[jenney]

I clicked "no". Not that I have never sworn or never will again. It just isn't a part of my daily vocabulary. I think it makes people sound uneducated and yes, it starts a fight at my house that doesn't go anywhere positive anytime soon.

[Val]

I'm the same way! I get so distracted trying to read someone's post around all the bad words that I don't understand why the Eddie Murphy standup?!
And yes... they have tons of friends.
Oh well... Whenever I say darn, c**p or even criminy... my 15 year old starts quoting scripture. "Simply let your yes be yes and your no be no. Anything beyond that comes from the evil one." Paraphrased as I haven't been thru confirmation in a really long time and she's fresh out so I get a lecture. Joking most of the time as I don't really swear. In my blog, I think darn is the worse I get.
Just do the right thing.
Good post!

[Liesl]

Before I gave my life to Jesus, I swore like a trooper. I was only 12. In fact, I tried everything in my power to get a friend to say just one bad word. (To this day she has never ever said a bad word in her life!!!) She refused to swear. Instead she convinced me to go to youth group with her. She was such a testimony to me. I got saved that year. And since then, swearing is not even an issue for me. I don't like reading "OMG" plastered all over the net. It makes me sad. To speak about Him but not TO Him. How it must break God's heart. If someone in blog land swears on their blog, I remove them from my reader and make sure I don't go back. I don't care how awesome their blog is. I'm like you, I can't get past it. Even if they *star* it out. Or use $%&^%*(&^(*$%..... That's just as bad for me. I don't allow stuff through my walls. Awesome post. Very tactfully done.

[gianna]

i love it! what a great post. i am one of those people who avoid swearing at all costs, too. even when i'm talking about a quote from someone else. i HATE it!i even try not to say the word "stupid" i'm a bit lame. but the worst is OMG, even OMG bugs me to death and I can't handle when my friends who are believers use it. AAAAAHHHH! it doesn't stand for gosh.

[LindaSue Carter]

preach it, sister! Why do people use profanity? Do they think they sound cool? Do they just not know proper "big" words in the English language? Or can they just not control their tongue? And I am SOOO with you on that whole "OMG" thing. Please don't take my Lord's name in vain. (psstt...I don't even let my kids say "shut up!")

[Tina Fisher]

I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours....

I didn't quite get the meta thing....

T

[Amanda Jo]

Ok...now my blog's score is just sad! I got a - ahem - 26. Oh, and I why I can't I see any of the other comments on your blog?

[Margaret]

How funny that you say it's "distracting." I told a young college student that very thing last month when I read her paper, which was peppered with profanity. Unnecessary. Classless. Red-necky. But I just told her it was distracting....

[Kami Rude]

Hey sweetie! Can I just say that, if swearing makes me a successful blogger, then I will NEVER be successful! I like this post and I like the fact that you have respect enough for your readers that you refrain from such vulgar words! :)

Missing you!

[Londa]

Sometimes I forget how it was "cool" in high school to swear and how guilty I would feel for denying my Savior by trying to fit in. Thanks for keeping your blog "clean" and, in doing so, making God look good! :)

[Mandey]

Thanks! I prefer to read/talk with people who don't. Thanks why I follow the blogs that I do. :)

[Sarah Robbins]

I don't swear either. I just think there are so many better ways to say things. It is one of the very few areas in my life where I manage to have self-control. Thank God for his grace and the holy spirit's work, or I wouldn't even have that area! :)

[carma]

Hey, thanks for cheering me up with my failing website grade ;-)

[Ruth]

Yeah, I tend to shy away from those types of blogs myself. I prefer to be uplifted or entertained in a postive way. And since the Bible says "bad company corrupts good morals" I think that applies to what I read as well. So if too much swearing is evident I usually don't come back :(

[Kristin]

Profanity! It does not belong on anyone's blog! You know, it is one thing if it slips out of your lips, but quite another if you type it and see it there and choose to keep it...you know...

[Janet]

I didn't do the poll because I would have had to click the 'yes' button, and there was no 'I'm not proud of it & I try not to' button...I try to set a good example for my kids, and I do, most of the time. But I am surely not perfect. I always feel so un-ladylike when I curse, well, with good reason. I have read & do read 2 blogs that use cursing (and I mean pretty strong stuff)and I find myself frowning, but at the same time, I can't seem to stop reading. They actually have good things to say, I just don't approve of all the *%$#. I'm afraid we might be a minority :(

[Kelly]

Good post I look forward to read more....

[Kelly]

Good post I look forward to reading more...

[Lori]

Well I try very, very hard not to swear, and I don't like being around people who swear. I try not to say "God" or "Oh my God", too, because I think it is wrong to use "God" that way. We always taught the kids that as well. It's an easy habit to get into, though, and a hard one to break. I think swear words are very demeaning and disrespectful.

(I'll let you know what my ranking is.)

[Holly Neaton]

Stumbled on to your blog through Tina's...love it!

[amber d.]

I served your rainbow cake today and it was so awesome! Thanks for the idea!

[amber d.]

OOPS, here is the link!
http://everythingexceptthegrill.blogspot.com/2009/11/rainbow-cake-day.html

[Kim]

Well said! I have never understood why people use swear word. They are so vulgar, and they never get a point across very well. To me they are common, it's lazy and it is not creative.

[denise]

thank you for putting the mirror in front of my face to think about this. i really try to be quite careful with my words and don't swear in general (giving birth was one immediate exception that comes to mind). i don't take the Lord's name in vain when speaking but i have typed OMG on facebook or now that i'm reflecting, maybe even my blog...thinking in my own head the acronym is "oh my goodness" or something i might say out loud but now realizing the power of words or even in this case letters! so thank you for the reminder...i totally agree with you about it being disrespectful and distracting when reading or listening to someone...funny, i usually read these tips to get ideas to be a better blogger but most often come away feeling glad that i'm not! i suppose that is the point? or one of them...thanks for the multi-layered thinking you inspire me to do...

[stacy Ness]

Love this. I think that yes to many people just freely swear now days. I can't stand it when I have my boys somewhere with me and you have someone talking to someone or on the phone that is very loudly droping swear words like it is going out of style. Thank you for this post. I can't say that I never swear but like you I try my best not to do it at all.

Stacy

P.S. I think that on your poll your should have had an option of "rarely but try very hard not to" because I would have fit better into that one then the "no" one.

[BigMamaCass]

I had a feeling that this was perhaps why I hadn't heard from you in a while on my blog. You haven't commented since I posted the blog about me being true to myself and all of my flaws. I'm sorry that you find it disrespectful, I completely and totally understand that. I do. It's just not me. I'm so sorry. I have missed your commenting for sure. Take care you. God bless. hugs!

[jenney]

Yeah...I got a 56 and they had about 100 suggestions of why I am ranked low. Oh well :o)

[Amanda Rettke]

You are right Stacy!!  I should have put that option.  DOH! (thats a little Homer Simpson for ya)

I totally agree with you on the public swearing thing... that makes me CRAZY!!!

Blessings sweet girl!

Amanda

[Kristin Smith]

Well I got a sad score of 32...but I am thinking that isn't too bad when just 2 years ago I didn't even know what a "blog" was! :)

I agree on the swearing too. If I say "crap" my 6 year calls me out on the carpet for it! :) I came across a blog where the writer used the *f* bomb all over the place and it WAS very distracting to even read. I really felt sorry for her b/c I felt like she must be really hurting to use that kind of language to describe everything in her life.

Oh and I am with you on the fighting....I have to remind myself - do I want to be right or do I want to be happy. Sometimes the desire to be happy allows me to give up the need to always be right!!

Have a blessed day!
Kristin

[Laura]

Woot, I scored a 50...I'm a half full kind of gal so I will take that! :)

I can't say that I *never* swear, but I try really hard not to and I do not swearin front of my kids! I only use it in emergencies like when I think something bad happened to my kid or something....wait, you know how often I freak out about my kids, now you probably think I swear constantly! :) Anyway I think it's really annoying when people swear a lot and I really just don't get why they do it. OMG definably bothers me too. I used to type "OMG" but in my mind I was thinking "oh my gosh" but I realize that people probably don't realize what I am thinking, which is just kind of a bummer because life would be easier if they did, ya know!? :)

Hope to talk/see you soon, miss my BFF! :)

[Amanda Rettke]

lol  well hopefully we can catch up tomorrow!!!

[Heather F]

Thank you thank you thank you for not swearing. I appreciate it, and it is one of the reasons I continue to follow your blog.

[Mama Plays Mozart]

This is so true! I noticed that about some of the more popular blogs and it doesn't really have much added value to me....

[Amyisatweetin]

Totally turns me off and is a great distraction. It's just offensive and unnecessary. :(

[Emily]

I just did that search from the top and my blog was ranked at 44% with a grade of 51.56. Interesting, but what does it even mean?

[Your-illfitting-overcoat.blogspot.com]

I don't get the swearing thing. To me, if you say "crap" or "shoot" or "bada$$" it's the same thing. You're intending that word as a curse.

Swearing, like any word choice, doesn't bother me when it's thoughtful. I don't care for bloggers or authors or stand-up comics who seem to swear every other word-- not because I find it offensive, but because I find it boring.

I do swear in my posts, but it's a thoughtful choice when I do. After including a curse word, I always stop and ask myself: "What is the intended effect of this word? Is this the best word I could use?" Sometimes I realize the word wasn't necessary, and I change it to something else. Other times, I determine that the word is necessary for effect.

So I do swear, and I don't feel bad about it, but it's a thoughtful choice, and it's relatively infrequent.