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  • My life as a wife, mother, and child of God. I can tell a good joke, but only at my own expense. I can tell ya how to parent, but only by first failing. And I can tell you how to get to Heaven, but you gotta get there on your own.

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June 01, 2011

Comments

Julie @ Willow Bird Baking

YES, and for you! You need a big ol' hug and some reassurance that you're an AMAZING mommy and you're not doing a single thing "wrong." Love to you!

Cookbook Queen

OH Amanda...so so sorry you are going through this. But it shall pass. Even the worst times do.

Will pray for you both.
xoxo

Elaine

Oh hon, it's very brave for you to write this and I also hope you feel a little better after putting it out there. Please know you are not alone and I will pray for both of you and your sweet little Eddie.

p.s. none of us are "Super Mom" or expect you to be either. xo

Nanna

Will pray that everything is better soon!

cara

absolutely for you and eddie and the rest of your family.

Ali

I have been there! Oh my goodness, have I been there. It will get better! Just hang in there, as best as you can, get every single bit of extra help from friends or your spouse.

Try to see if after he eats he seems "gulpy" like he keeps making little swallows. My daughter had invisible reflux. She never spit up but she had really bad reflux and it made her colic so much worse. It might be a long shot but once we figured that out and got her medicine to help heal her throat she was at least able to sleep a little bit. The colic is something else, and oh boy, I feel your pain.

I'm sorry you are going through this, but just know that it isn't your fault, that most times it just takes time to ride this phase out, and it will get better. :)

CourtneysSweets

Hugs!! I can't say that I know what you're going through as I'm not a mommy *yet*, but I will pray for sure! I hope you both find comfort :(

colleen

Of course I will put you guys in my prayers! You are a spectacular , loving mommy! Have him checked for Colitus(sp?) My girlfriend had the same issue with her 4 girls and that's what it was. also run the vaccum when he starts to cry sometimes the noise will calm him down because it reminds them of the soundsin the womb. same thing if you prop baby carrier/ carseat on the washer during the spin cycle. I know it sounds weird but it does help colicky babies.Just take a few breaths I know it is hard to sometimes feel sane when the baby is crying and you feel like you are being pulled every which way. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Xoxo

Kristen

Love and hugs to you... I just sent you a Skype message. Let's chat :)

ali @ an ordinary mom

I agonized over the same thing with my second born. He screamed and screamed for months and months, and didn't stop until I weaned him (at 12 months!). Turns out he was so extremely sensitive to gluten... I had taken it completely out of his diet only weeks after introducing grains and seeing a plethora of new physical symptoms, but I was still eating grains, and I didn't realize how much it affected him, it was crazy. And heartbreaking. It still breaks my heart thinking back to that time.
I had a friend with a similar story with dairy.
I'm not saying your baby has an allergy/sensitivity, but that it is something to consider- you could try eliminating common allergens from your diet for a while...
This time will pass, even if you don't find a "solution", he will grow up and grow out of the constant crying eventually. I'm so sorry you're in the thick of it right now, I'll definitely be praying for an extra ounce (or pound, or ton!) of grace from Him.

Hang in there- you are NOT a failure! You are a wonderful mother, and the exact mother the Lord meant for your children!

bridget {bake at 350}

Oh sweetie! Oh, I feel just horrible I didn't realize this was happening!

My sister's first baby was colicky. And she called one day from Hawaii (where she lived at the time) and said..."what did you do when kiddo SCREAMED, and ALL the time?" I told her...he didn't scream, he cried, yada, yada. It wasn't until they came to visit us that I realized, this wasn't regular "baby fussing." This was different. And it was hard. And I had no advice.

I'm so, so sorry you are going through this. Eddie is lucky to have such a caring mommy. I wish I had advice to give you...just know I'm here when you need an ear or a shoulder...all of us are. You were brave to post this...and I bet it will help a lot of other new moms...just knowing they are not alone.

{{hug}}

Jo Ashline

Prayers for the both of you. There is strength in admitting you feel weak and vulnerable sometimes. Mama, you are HUMAN. These emotions, and this exhaustion and this guilt? All part of being HUMAN.
Give yourself a break. Literally and figuratively. I always use this fabulous analogy my sponsor would use when I first got sober. She told me that if a plane loses cabin pressure and the oxygen masks come down, they always instruct you to put YOURS on FIRST. Because if you tend to the kids, and then run out of air and pass out, you are good to NO ONE.
So wallow in this, because it's only natural, but somewhere, somehow, you have to find that oxygen mask and put it on. FIRST.

Blessings.

Leah

It was so brave of you to write this, but I really admire your honesty. Luke was "colicky" too and I remember them as being pretty dark days, which got better as he got a little older. Love to you and Eddie.

Christina

I will pray for your sweet little boy. I've been there. And God is Faithful!
Hang in there mama, you're doing great!
xoxo

Kristin Smith

Amanda - praying so much for you. I have been there!! Elijah had such terrible colic that he would scream for hours on end in the evening. No one could help him and I was the best able to "deal" with it. I would walk the basement with him in the sling and sing to him. PLEASE don't feel like a failure. This too shall pass and in a month or so he will grow out of this and be the smiley boy you desire. Don't be afraid to ask for help...if I were closer I would come!!! But you can't do it all so don't think you have failed if you aren't super mom! 4 IS hard...but all of your kiddos know you love them and they love you for who you are...not how great you are at every little thing!! Keep praying and know that I am lifting you up!! One of these days we will have to connect in person now that I am almost living in your state!! :)
Blessings friend!!
Kristin

Suzette

Oh Amanda, I feel your distress and just asked my super perfect Mom who knows these things... Mom says to try 'gripe water'... it comes in a bottle and is labelled as such. All pharmacies should carry it. It's always worked Mom says, so maybe you could check it out. Pls. let me know how things are going and I will ask Mom what to do next! Suzette

Bridee Schrier

Amanda... this time will pass and you will forget all about it!! I have 5 kids... twins my last with a 7, 5 & 3 year old. It still brings me to tears thinking about those HARD days. I wish you were in california I would be over to help :( Give it a couple months and he will be over it hopefully. My girls are 4 1/2 now and it all seems like a blur.

Hugs to you!

Paula

I'm sorry to hear that both you and Eddie are crying! I have not advice, only prayers and comfort. As long as there is nothing physically wrong with him then this is one of those things that you have to let him outgrow. Do you have one of those baby slings? I never did but I have heard from new Moms that they love the fact they can cuddle the baby and have them close yet their arms are still free for all that *other* stuff, like cleaning, laundry, cooking, baking etc.
You and Eddie and the entire family will get through this...severely sleep deprived yes, but you'll make it. Also, if you have a friend you can call to come and watch him, even if he's screaming...call them and get out of the house alone for a few hours. A change is as good as a rest...even if you go somewhere else to nap for a bit :) Hugs to you all.

Stephanie

Prayers heading your way!

TidyMom

You are an awesome Mom sweetie.....hugs, love and prayers.

ps.....I'm proud of you, ya know {hugs}

Amber Hurd

This is what happened to me when I had my fourth baby. He is 6 months now and it has gotten better but I still have a little trouble balancing my time. I also have PPD which has gotten better but I still have bad days. I will be praying for you and make sure you talk to close family and friends about how you are feeling. You are a amazing mom and don't be hard on yourself. Make sure you take any help offered so that you can get some rest.

Amber Hurd

Also my three year old had colic and I used the gas drops. It seemed to subside when he was about 3 months old.

Nancy @SensitivePantry

Amanda - You are a great mom. Really. This happens to some babies and he will outgrow it. It isn't you. But, his crying will wear you down so you might need a little break, a little time away...even an hour. Can someone watch him now and then so you can re-energize?

I will be giving you and Eddie lots of virtual hugs. (And will ask some of my young mom friends if they have some advice.)

Sonya

Colton was just like that. He would get fussy every afternoon and cry and cry AND CRY until he went to bed and then was up during the night quite a bit and unable to go back to sleep. Turned out he was having serious stomach issues. Poor little guy! Have you thought about omitting common digestive issue cuplprits from your diet, like milk and other gas causing foods? I bet that would help!

Hang in there! It will get better, I promise.

Shaina

Miss Amanda, I will pray for that sweet redhead of yours, but I'm not so worried about him. He will push through and come out the sweetest boy you ever did see before you know it. It is you, my dear, that I worry about. I wish I could take that baby from you for a few hours to give you the break you need, to let you get your work done. And more than that, I wish I could steal that maternal guilt from you and lock it in a box and throw it far out into the ocean, where it would drift away until you forgot about it forever. Please know there are people who care, who want to help, who are sitting here waiting for you to show up for coffee, crying baby and all.

Debbie

I will definitely include you in my prayers! Just remember that this will pass. Collick only lasts a few months. I know it's hard to get through those months, but you can make it through because...well, you don't have a choice I suppose. I only have one boy, a toddler right now and he's quite a handful, so let me assure you that you are super-mom. I've been reading your blog for awhile now and you are definitely an amazing mom.

Nancy

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7. Prayers for you and precious little Eddie.

Amy | She Wears Many Hats

There's no advice, no words to make it better, but I can pray and I am. I only wish I were close enough to come hold him for a while so you could rest a bit. Hang in there and don't ever think you have to be a super mom - not even for one second, ya here?

D Lomenick

Bless you!! I have no advice or ideas for you. I have genuine sincere prayers. You will be on my mind and in my heart.

ClassiclyAmber

Aw, praying for both Eddie AND you! I went through this with my very first baby and was really blown away with how awful of a mom I sincerely thought I was! Thing was...I wasn't! And you know what? You aren't, either! So try not to believe those lies that crop up in your head. This is one of those things where it could literally be 500 different things affecting him and it's hard to tell. I wanted to ask you - do you have a baby carrier and do you wear him? I have had incredible success with that with my last 3. I was able to go back to getting things done while wearing them, and they slept soundly...or I'd nurse them in it. My fav was the Peanut Shell. http://www.thepeanutshell.com/
I see that other caring people here on your blog have made suggestions, too, so I don't want to overwhelm you. But please know that this is definitely a phase, so try to take it a day at a time [even though that's hard at times!], and we all love you and think the world of you! I think you are wonderful for coming on here and sharing your heart - just like you always do. BIG hugs, girlie!!!

Bediels & Co. (Jen)

I hope things get better for you really soon, Amanda. If I were closer, I would offer you a hand so you could get some sleep. Remember, the beauty of take-out is that you don't need to cook, and the house doesn't need to be clean... no one will notice. Take care of yourself. xo

Cecilia

Found your blog a while back, love all your ideas and your kids are adorable! I'm only 18 but I've been a baby-person since I was probably 2 yrs old lol. I'm one of those that "can always make babies happy", and I always get handed the crabby ones to make them stop crying. So I can relate with you! I've always imagined that my kids will be content and I'll be able to comfort them, but now I see that might not be the case :) (lesson in humblness maybe?? :) ) I'll be praying for you. For Eddie and that whatever is wrong, maybe tummyache, will quickly pass. That you wont feel guilty or horrible. That everything will turn for the better soon! You're doing a great job! Take care, Cecilia

Carol, Simply...Gluten-free

I came here from my friend Nancy, oh my, this so touched my heart. First let me say that my second son had colic and it was horrible, I completely understand. One thing I learned was that diet makes a difference. If you are breast feeding try cutting out anything that might be affecting him. If he is on formula maybe dairy doesn't suit him. It is a process of ellimination and then adding back in. But it does pass. The second thing I learned is there is no such thing as Super Mom. You are tired and frustrated. It is understandable. Give yourself a break.

Becki D

Hey sweet lady.
I've got you and Eddie in my prayers tonight.
Just try to relax and trust yourself that you are doing everything you can do...all babies are different and some babies just cry. He'll get better and you'll get more rest soon, I am sure of it!

2 Tim 1:7

Sarah O.

Hi there,

I've been following along for awhile and never commented before, but your last post reminded me of something a missionary pastor's wife told me. I was on church staff and helped tutor her kids, who were homeschooled. They were so smart and polite and well-groomed pretty much every day. She was one of those moms, like you, who knew how to bring organization, peace, polish and shine to everything because she was truly gifted for motherhood.

But she admitted at at a ladies' meeting, after being overwhelmed by the arrival of her fourth child, that the Lord showed her how she had been able to mother her three children largely on her own abilities, but that the fourth one was special because now she was beyond her comfort zone. She had rely on God for wisdom, joy, and sheer strength more than she ever had before. She called that little one her "extra mile" baby, because she felt that God was helping to walk the extra mile in His service as a mother.

What she said stuck with me, and I promised to remember it again if I ever crossed the "three-child barrier" myself. I hope it encourages you that even though it really IS harder, you really WILL have all that you need for the extra mile when you're walking with Him.

Renee

I've been in your shoes, or similar ones at least. It can be very stressful! I'll keep you & Eddie in my prayers. I have heard good things about gripe water, might be worth giving it a try.

SweetSugarBelle

praying.

Wendy @ Celiacs in the House

My first born had the classic colic symptoms and I felt that somehow I was poisoning him with my breast milk. He cried every night for the first four months of his life. My husband would walk the hall with him in the football hold for hours each night while I rested from caring for a newborn all day. My heart goes out to you during this time. Turns out he had celiac disease and my intuition that I was poisoning him was accurate despite what the doctor and everyone else was saying. He will be 21 this summer and I still remember those months and still feel inadequate. But it is because I didn't listen to my heart that something was wrong, but deferred to experts. Hang in there and explore alternatives.

Suzanne

Praying. I understand feeling like a failure because it is hard to be great at everything with four little ones running around! My oldest is 5 and my youngest just turned 1. I am just starting to get back into my groove. It is a tough road, but you seem like an amazing mom! Trust God to get you through...

lexie

Hi there! This has got to be tough!! Nancy asked that I drop in. My good friend just recently went through this, too. Here is the link to my FB page and where I posed the question to my readers:

http://www.facebook.com/lexieskitchen#!/lexieskitchen/posts/177372915647229

See if that helps as you look for answers.

Great blog. How do you find the time?! I have two and can barely keep up. Funny how it's another commitment, but therapy at the same time :)

Hugs,
Lexie

Beth

Praying for you! I have been right where you are. I used to hold my baby in one hand and a hair dryer in the other. It was the only thing that would get him to stop. He is now a rambunctious 5 year old and soon Eddie will be there too!

AngieN24

((Hugs))! I know you're getting all kinds of support and advice. I havent read through all of them to know if someone has already said this or not, but I've heard gripe water is great! Also a warmed up rice bag on his tummy could help too. Here is a tutorial on making one and it explains it a little more, but really you can put the rice in a sock and tie it off, no sewing at all!

http://familyoffarmers.blogspot.com/2010/08/baby-belly-bag-tutorial.html

I'll be praying for you both!!
AngieN24

Deanna

As so many others, I've been there as well. My #4 baby cried and cried all the time. It seemed never ending. But it wasn't.

Hang in there!
Prayers for peace during this rough patch.

Jenny

It's too much -- you're trying for too much. Please let some things go for now. The prioritizing will have to be yours, but please do it. And please make sure you're getting sleep, however or whenever you can. I have a toddler, so I remember -- you can't be your best if you're not getting enough sleep. Best of luck.

Mama M.

Oh, Amanda...I'm sorry. I don't have wise words or fabulous suggestions, I wish I did, but I don't. Just hang in there...these days are so tough, so all consuming and exhausting, but this too, shall pass.

It's so difficult, when you are sleep deprived, to handle anything outside of perfect...but perfection is just around the corner. It'll be there waiting for you when you get your feet back under you and some sleep under your belt!

Alisa Fleming

Definitely! Wow, that has to be so hard since he can't tell you what is wrong. With your love, he will make it through this time, but it must be so hard for both of you right now.

Linda

Just stumbled onto this blog. I have been there. My son would cry like clockwork every night for three hours. He would fall asleep and then wake at 1:00 am and cry some more. I was worn out and my husband was in the Navy and wasn't around to help. I rember crying one day and praying asking God what to do. I had tried everything. Then a thought popped into my head that said "You are doing everything you have to do by loving him, nothing more is needed." Eventually the colic phase passed but I'll never forget that.

You are doing everything your supposed to with your love. Nothing more is needed.

Brenda @ a farmgirl's dabbles

My heart hurts. And that's what friends are for - to lean on, to lighten your burden. I am praying for beautiful little Eddie and for you. Love and hugs to you, my sweet friend.

Lindsay

Girl. I am in your boat - only without the crying. No wait. I am in your boat - only mine just wants to be held. But I can't either. I too, have 3 other kids, a hubs, two jobs and a house. And now? Now I need a nanny. Or something! Because I too, can't. But yet we can because right now is when we need to repeat to ourselves "God will give us NOTHING that we cannot bear." Nothing.

I received a major boost the other day by a mere seven words spoken to me by my hubs: "I don't know how you do it" after leaving him alone with the four of them....for an HOUR. Sweet words to my ears, and confidence to say "hey, I guess I AM doing it!"

Take each moment and enjoy it. I've found it helpful to think of the future - the future when SOMEDAY we will actually MISS this chaos. We will MISS the messy house because of what the messy house represents - our beautiful kids. And they won't be here to mess it up for much longer.

Hang in there - you can do it. You're a great mommy. Praying for you!

Jayme

Our #5 was like that- I remember feeling like a pro until her. She cried for a couple months, for no reason. We were miserable, because we couldn't fix it. And then one day we were like, hey remember when Mia cried all the time? and realized it was over.

You'll get through it, and you'll do great.

Barefeet In The Kitchen

Oh, Amanda! I have tears in my eyes and I am praying for you as I write this. My first was like that. We honestly questioned whether we would have any more children. There were days when he literally screamed from waking in the morning until he finally passed out from exhaustion at an absurdly late hour of the night.

Many a night, my husband would arrive home from work and I would literally hand my son to him and RUN out the door. To walk around the block (alone!), to grocery shop, to just sit in the yard in the quiet, to do anything at all that didn't involve a screaming child.

I'm sure you've already been through the questions, but I'll put it out there anyways. Is there any chance he has reflux or anything going on? Since this was our first, we had no idea that babies weren't really supposed to spit up like fountains all day every single day! LOL now in hindsight, but at the time... oh, what craziness it was.

You will get through this. He will smile more and everyone will fall into an easy routine again. Prayers are surrounding you from so many people tonight!

Heidi McMaster

I'm so sorry you're going through this. It is so awful - I did not experience it myself with my son, but watched several friends go through it. A good friend of mine created a fabulous resource for exactly this, a website called www.thefussybabysite.com. It has helped hundreds, thousands of women going through this. I would highly recommend it for encouragement and help.

Leslie Jackson

Just so you know, the fact that his crying DOES bother you means that you are a good mommy. If his crying didn't bother you, then I think you should be concerned.

I have a friend whose baby was gassy. Will the docs let you give him anything to try to get some gas out of him? (I'm sure you and the docs have tried lots of stuff!)

Will pray that he starts having more blissful "Elvis" moments! :) I know it is frustrating, but it's those moments that make being a mommy worth it all! :)

Kate

My baby was like Eddie and even 17 years later I can so vividly recall every feeling behind every word you say. It makes my heart ache right along with yours. I felt like such a complete failure.

I will pray hard and often and call on our loving Lord to reach His hands to your shoulders, and hold you tight in your fear and worry. I'll pray for some resolution to Eddie's tears, for you to rest and relax, to be filled with peace.

Joy

Amanda, my heart is aching for you as I read this. I will most definitely be praying for you and also for little Eddie. My 4th and last child was just like this. She cried whenever she wasn't being held by me. No one could hold her without her starting to scream. I will say she finally grew out of it. There is hope, so don't give up!! Again, I will be praying for you my friend!!

shelly (cookies and cups)

First, let me just say that you are brave for writing this..I know how hard it must have been for you to get it out and let everyone in. That shows how much character you have.
Secondly, I could say that it will pass (which it will) but I know that doesn't help you now. You are so strong for wanting to do all that you do for your family, but God doesn't give you more than you can handle..I'm a firm believer in that. Keep smiling and know that little Eddie is giving you loads of ammunition for when he's a teenager ;)
lots of hugs.

Jenney

GO YOU!!!!! Good for you sharing this. It is HARD to have "one of those babies". Little Monkey Man, as you know we call our second born on our blog, was "one of those babies". We used to say, in all honesty, we knew why people shook babies. He'd cry for HOURS on end. And not just cry. SHREEEEEK. Scream. gag. It was awful.
Wearing him in a sling helped sometimes, but other times we'd have to make sure all of his needs were met, and then lay him in his crib and go in the backyard.

It sounds harsh. But we did. And you know what? All things considered he is "normal". Ok, he's crazy and loud, and very mischievous, but he's normal :o) I don't think those traits had anything to do with us taking a breather every once in awhile.

I am so sorry that you are going through this. I will be praying, and I've been there!

Lisa

Hebrews 12:1-3
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. AND LET US RUN WITH PERSEVERANCE THE RACE MARKED OUT FOR US, FIXING OUR EYES ON JESUS, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Praying for you!

Becky

Will be praying for Eddie and for you and for your whole family as you go through this. You don't do it alone - God walks with you the whole way.
Love Becky

Jeri

Prayers for you & your sweet little guy!! Both my girls were like that until I cut out dairy & soy. Their little tummies just hurt & made them cry & cry. It's hard as a mom to hear your kids cry. I feel for you & your family. Hang in there!! Thanks for being brave & sharing!!

Alta

My friend Nancy asked me to stop by - and while I don't have any children of my own, I do empathize. I have three stepchildren, two of which are unbelievably trying (they have multiple behavioral disorders - ADHD, bipolar, Aspergers) and sometimes, it gets to that point where you feel helpless and like you can't keep up. But please remember - you aren't given anything you cannot handle, so trust in the fact that your love for your little one and the rest of your family will not only be enough, but the fact that you care so much right now that it's bringing you to tears makes all the difference. That little boy (and the rest of your family) will grow up and get past this, and he will KNOW that his mommy loves him with all of her heart. Also, you are ALWAYS allowed to ask for help - so please call family and friends to take him for a while. Even an hour. You need your time too, to rejuvenate. So many hugs going your way!

Taylor

Praying for you and Eddie. It WILL get better . . .

Amber

Praying for you. You will get through this.

Amber Hawkins

This brought back tears! That was my first (only) baby. He's now 2, but Lord I did not think we'd make it past month 2! That kid screamed constantly, there was nothing that helped him, no rubbing, no patting, no walking, no bottle, no tylenol, no nothing. So to the net I went, and eventually found symptoms for silent reflux. They fit my baby to a T...but proving that to the doctors was another thing. After a day of screaming where my hubby would sleep for 2 hours, then I would sleep for 2 hours, and so on, I finally marched my butt and my son to the dr. made them watch what was happening when my son ate, and then proceeded to sit there for about half an hour as he screamed before they said "maybe" I was right. By then it was already too late, my son had equated pain to eating, so he began refusing to eat and we ended up in the hospital. PLEASE get him checked for reflux. Not all babies are what they call "happy spitters". Some unfortunatley swallow and reswallow all that acid that rises up. Getting that help made a WORLD of difference. That being said, I know the strength it took to write this post. I wrote a very similar post on a pregnancy website. You have SO much love and help all around you. Something that worked for me is a half an hour of just me time. I used it to go to the gym, but do whatever, just make sure you are along. Hubby or whoever can take charge for 30 minutes. Remember you cannot take care of anyone until you take care of yourelf! ((HUGS))

liz

look into acid reflux...both my kids had it. my son had a really bad case of it (he was my first) and it terrified me. he cried and cried and cried and there was nothing i could do to help him. until i convinced his pediatrician that something was wrong i remember telling him "if this is colic then 50% of babies would not survive infancy." it was horrible and i actually had some bad thoughts due to the exhaustion and never ending crying. his medication (he was on prevacid for 18 months) was amazing. if i took him off it for even a day the cries started up again, but when he was on it it was night & day. as a seasoned mom, you must know that eddie isn't behaving normally. talk to your pediatrician about it until he helps you figure it out. if he writes you off, try again. or find a new doctor. good luck!

hannah

praying for you, sweet mama! xoxo
Psalm 54:4
Behold, God is my helper;
the Lord is the upholder of my life.

Kimberlee (theALprincess - twitter)

Sending love and prayers for your whole family. You will get through this. *hugs*

Melissa A.

I completely understand all of your feelings, emotions, and frustrations. Our now 2 year old son (Hunter) was what we called a very fussy baby - only we knew it was not a normal fussy. We also have a daughter 2 years older than our son. Hunter cried *all the time*. We were all miserable. I was nursing Hunter, and our pediatrician mentioned that she sees quite a few babies with a milk/soy protein intolerance. I *love* dairy and ate alot of it - cheese, yogurt, milk, ice cream, butter.... Turns out Hunter could not digest the cow milk protein that passed thru my milk. It is *not* a lactose intolerance. So, I cut out all dairy and soy for a couple weeks to see if it helped - it takes so time to purge from mom's system - and we were amazed to finally have the baby boy that we could enjoy so much! The diet was difficult, but SO worth it. I eventually had to start traveling for work when Hunter was about 6 months old, which makes it very hard to adhere to that diet, so we had to switch him to formula (boo!). We used Nutramigen (expensive and smelly, but it WORKED). He outgrew the intolerance and was able to switch to whole milk just fine around 13 months. I am so thankful that my pediatrician made the dairy suggestion. Do some quick research on MSPI (milk soy protein intolerance) and see if you can relate to the symptoms. I have a ton of resources I could send your way via email if interested.

Katie

Hang in there mama! You and Eddie will get through this and come out just fine on the other side. ((hugs))

mama marchand

Oh, mama. I had those moments with my daughter when she was a baby and I know, all too well, the feelings of desperation you feel. I will definitely pray for your sweet boy. My daughter is 15 months old now and the days and days of crying are but a memory now. It will get better, he will stop crying for no reason, and life will return to normal before you know it!

elisa

You are a super mom. For all the things you do. For your love of your family. You surely must have some idea of how incredible you are. Once you get past this, and you will, you will look back at this time, and be that much more thankful for all you have. My little one was the same. I could do nothing to calm her. It was heartbreaking, to say the least. I cried all the time, because all I wanted to do was comfort her, and all my attempts to do so never seemed to be enough. I look at her now, and I get all teary eyed, because of all I went through with her. I believed I was a horrible mother. She is my constant reminder that motherhood is a challenge, but we get through the heartbreaking tough times, and we cherish those amazing moments in our adventures in motherhood - the good, the better, and the best. If you need someone to talk to, you feel free to e-mail me. You can call, text, send a post card, just to let it all out. You are so not alone. That was the tough part for me, thinking I was alone and no one would understand how I was feeling. I think by all the comments you just received, that you must have some idea how much we are all thinking of you, keeping you in our prayers, and not have a doubt in our minds that you will get through this.

Liz

It is so hard but you are an amazing mother. I'll pray for Eddie.

I also want to tag on the people who mentioned reflux. Our E had silent reflux. He wouldn't spit up but basically had heartburn 24/7 until we were able to figure it out. He was a much happier baby with a medication then! (and he grew out of it by the time he started solids)

jen erday

Oh my...you know that song where the woman sings something like "he found my diary and read it out loud". You are saying the words I felt every day WITH EACH OF MY THREE BOYS!! I know how you feel. My first son was colic for the first 3 months, my next boy was colic for 4months and Matthew, my 3rd son had it so bad it lasted 5.5 months. I use to stand in the shower and cry myself. Partly because the shower would drown out the noise and partly because I felt like such a total failure I didn't know what else to do. And then there were these other little people who needed me just as much as the sweet baby did and I didn't know if I could be all the things that were needed of me.

There is good news. It does get better. The days will come when you will notice that sweet Eddie cried a little less. (I remember being afraid to even acknowledge that we had a "better" or "almost good" day for fear that I would jinx myself. But those days do come. Go easy on yourself - the little people love you so much - they don't notice that the laundry piled up - they even like wearing the same clothes in a row. I will pray for you the prayer I prayed nightly for months - "please let there be peace."

And remember being a mother means your days are l-o-n-g but the years are short.

Amber | Bluebonnets & Brownies

Oh Amanda, both you and Eddie are in my thoughts and prayers. Love to both of you from over here in NJ. I wish I were closer and could just come hold him for you while you do what you need to do. I've had my fair share of colicky babies through years of day care and nanny work, and it's enough to drive a person to drink, without 4 other souls depending on you so much. If there's anything you need, my darling - someone to listen on the phone, a guest post, anything - you just say the word.

Carrie

Amanda,

You have some great prayer support here and some practical advice as to how you might be able to help him feel better if he is colicky...now...ask for help in the other areas...I am not sure where your great support system is (family, church, friends, etc), but ask for help ( I know..it is humbling to ask for help, but do it...if this were one of my friends, I would be over at your house IN A SECOND, helping with laundry, bringing dinners, etc. You have a lot of VERY SMALL children and that alone make life hard...but you just had a baby...and that baby is crying for some reason...get help....do not try to do it all...decide what is most important RIGHT NOW and do that.
C~

Erin Bennett

Prayers headed your way! It gets better just hold on!
You are an amazing mom just by asking for prayers! Being a wife, mother, trying to manage a household, all can be overwhelming! Take it one day at a time... Cry if you have to... Emotions are a roller coaster~ just remember it does get better! I was once where you are! Hugs

Jaime

Buckets of prayers coming your way. Praying for peace, support, time out. So glad you shared, and trusting that you feel the Lord's presence in your life. Humble yourself. Cast your cares upon Him.

Alyssa

I will definitely be praying for you! And you shouldn't feel selfish asking for prayers. I always felt this way too, but the other day I read that asking for prayer is acknowledging that we are not God and that we need His help. And He loves helping his children!

Pippa

May peace and light flow over and through you both, Amanda & Eddie!

And thank you for so honestly sharing this. My first born cried like this, and we tried everything. I ended up with severe post partum depression, and he finally grew out of it - thankfully!

To this day I think this is why I have only ever managed to have the one child. Because I felt so inadequate as a mommy.

This is a sucky time, but it WILL get better! (HUGS)

Jaclyn

From what I have read on your blog I think your an amazing person and I think you are an amazing mom. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!! Just keep smiling! =)

Amy

Hi. I read your baking blog a lot. We're very different but we're both mothers, and from out here in internet-land, I think you are doing a wonderful job.

You are not doing it wrong. I promise.

Eddie will be OK. You will be OK. Your other kids will be OK. Your husband will be OK.

Huge hugs. And prayers, too.

Marcia

Amanda, Prayers to you and your family. You are not alone by any means! You are an amazing mommy and your kids are lucky to have you! With time this too shall pass....and it will all be just a mere memory as you resume your great ability to juggle "life". Heads up love!

Mellybrown

This touched my heart. My second daughter screamed for three solid hours every night for the first 8 weeks of her life regardless if she was being held, had just eaten, etc. Sometimes I think they just need to cry. It is frustrating to say the least. You are a good mommy. You will make it to the other side. You are doing the best you can for your family. You go, girl!

Angie

Please, please, please, don't be discouraged. You are not alone in this. I feel the pain you are experiancing and it will get better. Utilize all the support you can get. And perfection is something only you can't see, others think you are doing a wonderful job. (the only thing that might help is Happiest Baby on the Block, but I hesitate to offer any advice as each baby is so different) Love your baby, cry with him, laugh with him and know others are thinking of you through this time.

From a mother of two who suffered post-partum depression from a series of tragic events and still struggles with it two years later, God will watch out for you.

sheri

Oh Amanda! ((HUG)) I will absolutely pray for both of you! My first was like this but her's ended up being reflux. Do you have something that you could babywear with? It would allow you to be hands free and he would get comfort from being "held". If you have any questions about which ones are good you can email me. Hang in there!

Tamara

I know how you feel. My friends baby would scream for about 22 hrs a day. The only thing that would make him stop was the vacuum and gripe water. I am praying for you both.

Diane Eblin-thewholegang

First of all I commend you for writing this and being so honest. There is nothing like mother's guilt. It can eat away at us like nothing else. I have to boys and they are now 17 and 21. However I dealt with many of the things you described. Like a few of your commenters noted it was what I was eating and passing through the breast milk that bothered them. Gluten and dairy. I remember at the time I had a baby hot water bottle and would give them drops for upset stomach. No one ever told me it could be something I was eating. I would have eaten pickles every day if I thought it was the best thing for them. Now that I know however it is something I will pass along to every mother.

You can play around with taking foods out of your diet and see how he reacts. Give it a week for each food and see. You may just find the combo that works for you and for Eddie.

Just remember that you are an amazing mom who loves her children very much and I'm guessing they know that. There is no better gift a parent can give a child.

 Darcie

Oh sweetheart...I've been there....only, it was my second & not my 4th. It was then that my husband learned to do laundry, dishes, & many other things that previously only I did. It was also the deciding factor (for him) that two kids was completing our family. It's hard...and right now, it seems like it will never end...but it will...did you see my boy on Tuesday? That's proof. Hang in there...I wish I would have read this before I saw you this week, I'd of totally squeezed you harder & told you how amazing you are!!! It will get easier!! xoxoxo

Francine

I had a Eddie, only she was a Melissa! My forth child, and I always said, if she would have been my first, she would have been my last. She cried...and cried...and cried! The doctor said, she's going to be a talker! She can't talk, so she cries! Well, he was right! She IS a talker! We both survived, and today is her birthday - she's 32 with 2 tots of her! I will keep both you and Eddie in my prayers!

Janet

I don't know if I can say anything that hasn't already been said, but I feel for you. It's glaringly obvious to anyone who reads your blog regularly that you are a devoted Mom. God love them, but some are just cry-babies. If you've checked everything possible (& I'm sure you have)& your pediatrician says he's healthy & thriving, then you are doing everything you can do. My only advice, for what it may or may not be worth, is to -let some things go for now (don't worry about thank you cards, who cares if they're late?) -let others help, they are 'fresh' & can tolerate the crying -trust yourself, you've done this before! -he ~will~ outgrow this. I was at a friends house today and read something that touched my heart. "Sometimes God calms the storm. And sometimes he lets the storm rage and calms the believer." It's been on my mind ever since...maybe so I could share it with you? Hang in there.

Lori Seaborg

I will pray for you and sweet Eddie ! I'm so glad to have the chance to do that.

I think you're probably at the bottom of the valley, so things will look up from now on. Chin up! It's going to be great.

If I could, I'd like to encourage you to find a CD that you and Eddie listen to together. Our 4th baby was a cryer, too. We stood, rocking, to Norah Jones CD (the one 8 years ago). Now, when I hear any of those songs, I get all sappy and think of those GOOD memories of my baby girl and me and Norah's voice. Yes, I promise, they will be good memories someday. Memories of him needing you, you holding him, and the two of you fighting a giant together.

Hugs! Lori

ShannE

Admitting you "can't" makes you a SUPER MOM!! This is just God's way of telling you that you are not the Almighty, he is :) (even if we REALLY want to be!) Take pride in the things you DO get done! The rest will always be there when you are ready....or should I say, when Eddie is ready :) Prayers and hugs for YOU!

Bethany

Sorry, sweet friend. I know the feeling! Ty was that baby. We didn't eat inside a restaurant until he was over a year old. He just screamed. Screamed at everything. Every night. Every day. For hours.

And now. He still gets very excited, very easily. He also picks up on things most people miss. He's extremely curious. He is a problem identifier and beginning to be a problem solver. He's not afraid to express himself and he's learning to do so in appropriate ways even when it's difficult.

I will pray for peace to envelope your home. I will pray for your peace of mind. I will pray for your kids peace. God made Eddie. He knows his temperament and he chose YOU to be his mama. You are not a failure. You are on a very steep learning curve. Hugs to you!

Pat R

Have you tried cutting out all dairy from your diet?....and I do mean ALL dairy. My 4th son reacted the same and this worked like a charm; he began to sleep and gain weight. It's worth a try. Keep off the dairy for 3-4 months and introduce it back into your diet slowly. Good luck and I will keep both of you in my nightly prayers.

maren

Done. Praying that you feel wrapped in love and that those sweet quiet moments continue to renew you (and that those moments multiply quickly). Praying that Eddie feels that same love and that together you can both be calm and peaceful. Praying for relief for you both.

Wendy

You have 95 comments and may not even read this, but I am going to share my experience. I had a crier. I was told colicky, but he seemed to cry all the time, not just at specific hours. And, he always wanted to be held which meant I got nothing done. It took a few weeks, but he was finally diagnoised with reflux....his wasn't so bad that he threw up, but it was still bad. Once we got him on medicine....life was good.

Anyway, and either way, I will keep ya'll in my prayers.

Meera

Everyday will get better. I keep telling myself this. Hope you can get some rest.

Mariƫlle

I keep you both in my prayers, and like people said before, try carrying hem in a some sort of sling. My daughter also cried and cried and cried. There where 3 ways that she was more comfortable. Rocking in a baby hammock,carying her in a sling and walking for ours with the stroller. Luckily I found a granny (without grand kids of her own) who loved to go for long walks with her. So I could get some sleep or do some household things
Try to find someone (maybe from your church) who wants to help you through these rough times.

Joan

I hope you feel better just having been able to write those thoughts down. Many have traveled the same road, but without a forum to release their feelings. I wish you peace and calmness in the days to come. We are not here to judge you, only support you. Prayers said for you and your family.

Macarena Pavlovic

Oh yes, babies crying...that happends. But don't worry, it wouldn't last too long. Why don't you try to carry him in a wrap sling?( http://didymos.com/ ). He will have what he wants(being stuck with you), and you will have both hands free for your other 3, for cooking and all the rest. Belive me it's a grate invention. It worked for me.
I hope everything goes better soon (and i hope my english is not that bad, I'm spanish :))
Kises,
Macarena.

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