I wrote this on a 'good' day.
I have often referred back to it on a 'bad' day.
This is how I get through.
Seven Steps to Being a Better Parent
1. I start my day with God.
In prayer, in the Bible, in meditation. I make a conscience effort to give my day to Him. To honor Him with my thoughts, my actions, my words.
2. I listen.
To God, to myself, to my kids. It just takes a moment to stop and give someone my full attention, but it often makes a huge and powerful and significant difference in my relationship with them.
3. I practice patience.
I heard Joyce Meyers once say that you should never ask God for more patience. The reason being, He will then give you trials that will test your patience, as the only way to become better at it is to learn through it.
4. I set goals and accomplish them.
Usually keeping it simple. Do a load of laundry. Empty the dishwasher. Go grocery shopping. Hug my kids 10 times each. A small sense of accomplishment goes a long way in my house.
5. I keep the promises I make to myself.
I make promises to myself all the time that I do not keep. "I am going to start exercising more." "I am going to clean the bathroom today." "I am only going to eat one more Oreo."
And then I do eat another Oreo. And don't work out. And neglect the bathroom for another day. The weight of those un-kept promises is a heavy one.
I want to be able to trust myself. To know that I have the strength... the strength in Christ who strengthens me... I want to be able to trust my own word.
6. I strive to please. Instead of striving to be pleased.
This helps me to remember the servant heart that God wants me to have. The most wonderful thing about this is that I am often more fulfilled when I do for others first.
7. I have my priorities straight.
Mine are as follows: God, Family, Home, Community, Personal Achievements
When I have personal achievements first, like say, I make it a priority to get a blog post up before I play with the kids, then my mentality changes. I focus on sitting at my computer typing and being able to hit that publish button. Then if a sweet little boy comes up to me and tells me I need to come and see what he has built, I say, "In a second. Mommy just wants to finish this..."
When my priorities are out of whack, the people I care most about suffer.
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I have discovered that parenting is Intentional. When I wake up in the morning and just dive right in... do not make intentional choices... that is when I am setting myself up for failure.
I have to mentally prepare myself for my triggers.
My triggers are:
- fighting
- talking back
- disobedience
- disrespect
It is pretty safe to assume that this is going to happen all day long one of these is going to occur throughout the day. If I can be one step ahead... or intentional... in how I am going to respond, chances are I won't lose my patience and I won't react in a way that just doesn't help. (yelling, over reacting, etc.)
I screw up a lot. It has been a really heavy burden lately. I have been torn up inside. I have such guilt... I almost feel like my mistakes are ruining my kids' childhood.
That is not how God wants me to view it.
I love that my sins and failures and mistakes can be placed at Jesus' feet every single night. And that every single day I wake up with new hope and encouragement and faith in Him that He will give me the tools I need right when I need them.
I love being a parent and want so desperately for that love to be reflected in the way I parent.
When I practice these seven guidelines, I have found that I am more able to respond to conflict with love instead of frustration.
I know I have much left to learn!
And I am so thankful that I have such wonderful, thoughtful, intelligent, and spiritual friends there helping me along the way.
Thank you!



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